This week we are talking all about living out our life purpose and this has brought up the topic of Faith and it’s a full time Job! This is a very important subject that I have been working through as well. And what I am learning as a student of life and the Divine is that we, more so I, have to STOP over complicating things and learn how to overcome making life more difficult. Because the truth is success, life purpose, or whatever we are striving to achieve is quite simple and very seamless.
I can remember when I was looking to reapply to a major university for the second time. I applied while in high school and was denied due to a lack of science credits that the university required. I was so determined to get in that I enrolled at my local technical college to take some extra credit sciences. I took so many science classes that year, I just knew I was going to get an acceptance letter. So I applied again, and this time I was accepted under conditions! What?!? I did exactly what they wanted, I gathered extra science credits to only realize that was the requirement for incoming freshmen not transfer students. It felt like I wasted so much time because I was too focused on doing the most to prove “I’m worthy” rather placing faith in what was needed and what I could do to get it. Looking back I realized that I was insecure in my ability to get accepted to a major university and tried to overcompensate my self esteem by doing more than what’s required or even necessary.
That pattern didn’t just show up there, I also, in hindsight, recognized how I had the same mindset pattern as it pertained to my relationship with loved ones and friendship circles. My insecurities was my driving force, not my genuine desire for connection; although I did have a genuine desire, my actions were muddied with insecurity. That experience led me into a deeper dive as to why belief in self is the most important mindset to have. And that’s where I discovered that faith is a sport that we must train and build up. And in order for me to believe, I had to be clear with my own intentions and how I was going to engage with it.
For me, and many others, faith was a struggle because I like to focus on hard facts and evidence, emphasis on evidence based results and research. So much so, that if I did not see the tangibles, it was very difficult for me to trust in it or believe in myself to achieve it. In some ways that mindset served me well, however, it was also a stumbling block for living a more ease and stress reducing life. I constantly doubted myself and felt I needed to show up as the ideal rather than my authentic self expression. I was managing myself to be what my thought processes believed be and it was draining the life force out of me.
So how did I train to develop stronger faith? It started with me taking audit of my daily thought patterns. I use to suffer from terrible anxiety attacks, and what I found was many of the thoughts that triggered anxiety were not necessarily my own authentic thoughts. These were from other people or programs I picked up over the years that I had internalized as my own. That took time to dissect before coming to that realization, but I got there! Everyday I would take notice of any thoughts that would trigger me emotionally and/or physically and was not in alignment with my desires outcome, it was given an eviction notice.
That simple mindset change led me to focus more on the feeling of what I was striving to accomplish rather than the monkey mind chaos of fear, doubt, and worry. It was a commitment to have a different experience with life. They say to have something you never had, you must do something you never done. And taking audit and account of my thoughts was what I never done before and it has warranted me some of my greatest lessons and experiences!
What is one step that you are going to take to build faith in your life? What areas of your life needs more awareness and compassion? I would love to hear from you in the comments section!