Relationship With A Man is A Humiliation Ritual- But Here’s The Whole Truth

The truth is… you need a Brené Brown kind of love—the kind that’s vulnerable, raw, and unguarded. Not curated. Not fantasy. Just real.

You want a man?

A husband?

To be kissed on the forehead while he books your facial and your wax?

Okay, then stop lying to yourself.

Because loving a man—being in actual partnership with a man—is a humiliation ritual at times.

Not theoretically. But Actually.

Because at some point, you will be misunderstood.

You will be embarrassed.

You will feel small or exposed.

And whether you mean to or not, you’ll probably do the same to him.

Not because you’re damaged. Because you were, and still a work of art in progress.

Not because he’s toxic. A critical mass of them are.

But because you are both flawed humans being witnessed—in real time—while evolving.

But here’s the deeper truth:

A lot of us have done the work. We’ve rewritten our money stories.

We’ve reshaped our friendship expectations.

But when it comes to love—romantic love—we are still letting our inner child do the choosing.

Still hoping for a fairy tale ending.

Still believing in forever like it’s a contract.

And that’s where we get wrecked.

As Natasha Mayne Esq., Florida’s Vogue Divorce Attorney, said:

“The word that messes people up most in marriage is forever”

Because the only thing guaranteed in life is change.

People change. Motivations change. Waistlines change.

And she’s not wrong. Most of us know our own mothers don’t love us in the ways we need.

So how can we expect a man to get it right?

That’s why the only love that will ever be forever—is the love you have for yourself.

Because when you build real self-love, that means you also build:

Self-respect. Self-honoring boundaries. Self-protection without self-sabotage.

And those boundaries?

They’re not to control others.

They’re to keep you in alignment.

Boundaries are for you, not for them.

So yes…

Love with a man will humble you.

A relationship is a humiliation ritual at times.

And the only question is:

What level of humiliation is worth the trade-off for the kind of intimacy you desire?

Some people choose love to elevate.

Some people choose love to survive.

Some people just choose whoever’s standing still.

All of it is real.

But just make sure you’re not letting your inner child sign the contract.

Let your grown, present self decide:

“Is this love worth the cost of being seen this deeply?”

Only you get to answer that.

And you get to renegotiate the answer as many times as you need.

Part Two: Loving a Man as Humiliation Ritual- The Anatomy of Ritual

Next: Part Three – When the Ritual is Resisted

Some women never leave the fire. Some build homes inside the ordeal.

In this part, we’ll explore what happens when the ritual is denied, aborted, or distorted—and the cultural cost of staying stuck.

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