PART TWO: Loving a Man is Humiliation-The Anatomy of a Ritual

Let’s begin with a reminder:

This is not a commandment.

You are not required to love a man.

You are not being told to partner.

You are not being told to seek.

But if you choose to enter the realm of love—especially with a man—you are choosing to enter a ritual.

And not just any ritual.

A rite of passage.

So What Is a Ritual?

A ritual is an intentional act that marks a threshold.

It separates who you were

from who you are becoming.

Rituals require fire, not just fragrance.

They invoke change, not comfort.

Love is a ritual when you walk into it awake.

And whether you knew it or not,

every relationship initiates you.

Even the ones that didn’t last.

Even the ones that broke you.

All Rites of Passage Have Three Parts:

1. Separation

The ending. The falling away. The part where your old identity dies.

2. Ordeal (Initiation)

The fire. The test. The ego death masquerading as heartbreak. The mirror held to your deepest wounds. This is the humiliation. This is the undoing.

3. Return (Integration)

The wisdom. The strength. The rebirth of the self—more whole, more true, more sovereign.

Most people never make it past the ordeal.

They get scorched and run.

They build walls around the fire instead of learning to walk through it.

Humiliation Is the Altar

I said what I said.

Humiliation is sacred.

Not because it is pleasant,

but because it strips away pretense.

It burns off delusion. It tests what is real. It refines you into truth.

And that’s why a relationship with a man—if entered with open eyes and an open heart—will bring you to this altar.

Not because he is god.

Not because he is right.

Not because you are wrong.

But because love, real love,

calls forth your most tender self

and dares you to stay.

And every part of you that was built on performance, pleasing, or pretending

will crack beneath the weight of that dare.

This is what we call ego death.

And that death is holy.

A Final Clarification

You do not have to enter the ritual.

Not everyone will.

Not everyone should.

But if you do…

Know what it is.

Name it for what it is.

And if you’ve already been through it,

even if it broke you—

maybe now you know:

You were never crazy.

You were never weak.

You were in the middle of the fire,

on your way back home.

Part One: Relationship With A Man is A Humiliation Ritual- But Here’s The Whole Truth

Part Three: When the Ritual is Resisted

Some women never leave the fire. Some build homes inside the ordeal.

In Part Three, we’ll explore what happens when the ritual is denied, aborted, or distorted—and the cultural cost of staying stuck.

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