PART THREE: What Happens When the Ritual Is Resisted

Let’s start here:

Women still want love.

Women still want to be seen.

To be held.

To be partnered.

Even if she doesn’t say it aloud, she’s feeling it in the quiet hours.

Even if she performs indifference on social media, there’s a part of her—ancestral, spiritual, or soul-level—that aches for union.

But many women are now resisting the love ritual.

Not because they don’t want love—

but because the fire has become unbearable.

Because the modern love landscape is crowded with loud, uninitiated men and the echo chambers they dominate—on podcasts, timelines, and group chats.

And women who do enter love, enter often under false pretenses, with no map, no ritual, no rite—just vibes, pain, performance.

So what happens?

They get stuck in the ordeal stage of the ritual.

The middle fire.

The grief.

The collapse.

The humiliation.

And they never make it to the return.

They never rise from the ashes.

The Pick-Me is the Woman Who Never Left the Fire

She’s playing house in a burning home.

She was initiated, yes—but not in truth.

She entered the humiliation ritual and got stuck there.

Now she’s hosting, decorating, and giving sermons in the flames.

Making the ordeal her identity.

This is not judgment.

This is archetype.

We have all played her at some point.

And many are still performing her now.

Because once the humiliation becomes a lifestyle, it begins to look like devotion.

But it’s not devotion.

It’s distortion.

But Here’s Where the Grief Sets In

Because we weren’t meant to live unchosen.

We weren’t meant to carry every burden alone.

We weren’t meant to harden and call it liberation.

And when I say unchosen, I don’t mean by a man.

I mean:

Unwitnessed. Unmet. Unmirrored. Unheld.

I mean denied the sacred partnership that supports—not defines—our becoming.

Being chosen is not about being picked.

It’s about being met in the ritual by someone who sees the fire in you and knows how to hold it.

Men Know This. That’s the Wildest Part.

They know you still want love.

They know you don’t want to carry it all alone.

They know you’re tired.

And both the initiated and uninitiated among them know this.

But the uninitiated are louder.

They weaponize that knowing.

They mock your desire.

They monetize your ache.

And so now, what we’re witnessing on the cultural terrain—from TikTok to Twitter, from dating apps to dom-sub roleplay podcasts—is a mass avoidance of the ritual altogether.

Women saying, “I’m out.”

And men either mocking them for it or begging for submission they haven’t earned.

Here’s the Truth

Whether you choose the love ritual or not is up to you.

That is your sovereign right.

Some women will never partner again.

And that, too, is a ritual.

But if you do choose love—and most will—the ritual will come.

The humiliation will visit.

The ego will be undone.

And if you don’t understand what’s happening,

you will think something’s wrong with you.

You’ll think love itself is broken.

But no.

You’re in the middle fire.

And that’s where the soul starts to remember.