It’s been almost a week since Self Realization of a Goddess Retreat and I’m still riding on my Goddess cloud high. It’s becoming a way of life at this point!
I am excited to share with you another realization that came for me during my trip. I have been aware for some time that I can be prone to anxiety. As I have learned more, and still learning, about the mind-body connection, I’ve been making a conscientious effort to keep my nerves anxiety free by creating a beautiful and peaceful living and work environment. So this retreat was a much needed break-away for a breakthrough.
The day after we went zip lining, we set our sights to crystal digging. Thinking that we will be submerged in dirt, I found my best worst clothes to get dirty in. When we arrived, we realized that we would not be going inside a cave, rather we would be given pails full of dirt where we would have to sift through it to find the crystals and gemstones. Slightly disappointed that I would not be knee deep in dirt, with a helmet, like the eighth dwarf of Snow White’s crew, I grabbed a pail and began sifting.
Surprisingly, the experience was quite soothing and relaxing as we scooped the dirt from the pail, and sieved for crystals in the running water. I found amethysts, rose quarts, emeralds, tourmaline, quartz, fools gold, and a rare geode. What realization that came to me in this experience was me digging myself out of a grave to rescue my hidden gems. Each gem spoke to me and told the story of how taking charge and owning my authority will free me.
These gems were in their raw and unfiltered form and reminded me that I am valuable even in my rawest form when I show up firmly rooted and grounded in myself. In my self reflection, I discovered that in honoring my sensitivity along with my inner authority, I didn’t have to sacrifice sensitivity with forcefulness to be authoritative. Each gem owned itself, it took up its space unapologetically, without competition.
This too was my experience with each Goddess that attended on the retreat. We all took up space, with out stepping on each other’s boundaries, or competing with each other. The entire experience was in the honoring of ourself and each other; and this made the journey receptive, fun, and harmonious.
I felt a purification with each gem that I gathered. I released judgment that I wasn’t polished or as refined as I believed I “needed” to be. I was fully and completely accepting of myself. I felt revived in the areas of my life that felt docile or dead in; I found an opportunity to restore life in those areas and revive those parts of me. The Messiah in Me called out the Lazarus in Me to Come Forth. This was where I once placed value on others’ perspectives and beliefs of me, particularly in people who didn’t care for me, could no longer abide in my re-emergence. The rules and restrictions that I once felt obligated to live out fell off of me in those moments by moments of realization while digging and sieving.
A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.”- Jim Morrison
In releasing judgement, I am more receptive to welcoming people in my life who will not “punish” me for being true to myself. The spiritual warrior within arose and I allow her to lead the way to help identify, dismantle and destroy all habits and beliefs that no longer serve a positive purpose in my life and world. I’m in compete and total trust that I have attracted a tribe, and enjoying every step of the unfolding.
In this unfolding I have learned when I stand in my authentic and truthful self, I carry my weigh in gold, rubies, and emeralds. The more I stand in my most truthful, assertive, compassionate, and unadulterated self, the more loving and healthy my experiences become.
How do you choose to show up and take up space? Where within are you needing to revive at what once seemed dead? Lastly, how did you learn to allow your truth and authentic self be asserted? I look forward to hearing from you!